I'll fly away...

Posted by Janelle Lowe on

So, I thought I was good with the whole size and fat acceptance thing. I'm pretty comfortable with my body... have taken thousands of photos showing my own plus size clothing for over 20 years now, including bikinis, with little concern.

Then, the bright idea came to me, I should do some photos of myself doing a bit of yoga in some of the Peaches exercise gear.  Great idea!  And so I did.  And then I looked at the photos, and had to do a hard swallow...because, guess what, body dysmorphia kicked in. I was kind of taken aback. I was not used to seeing my body at these different angles and poses, and I won’t lie, at first I didn’t like it.  And then from somewhere deep inside came the thought, “f#@k it, this is me, this is how I look, and it’s going out.”  I wasted too many years being concerned with what someone else’s opinion of my appearance was, I do not have time for that again. 

I hope you’ll join me as I continue my journey. I can’t say every single day that I love how my body looks, but I can say that I appreciate how it has carried me through, how strong it is, for the storms it has weathered. (Noting the irony that this pose is called Warrior 2). There's a thing now, they call it Body Neutrality, a slightly different take on the Body Positive movement.  It’s more an appreciation of function than of appearance.  

Which suits me fine. If I’m honest, I’m spending more time in the Neutral zone lately...and I think that’s a result of aging as well as size. But I’m ok with that, at least for now. And I think it’s a good mental exercise to face a fear every now and again. So, I’m going to fly away from all the negative BS, which I can do because apparently my arms have wings now!  (laughing)


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